The best part of the day for me starts when the world outside the windows of my room slowly seems to erase out into some dark silence. It makes me feel as if a soldier struck with an arrow straight into his heart suddenly stopped mourning his pain with the inevitable belief of never seeing his family again, never touching his wife or his son back at home, and closing his eyes forever.
This is about one night, one cold winter night.
I had finished my dinner and was sitting in front of my computer. All the rooms except mine, were dark and … black. I had a tough day and was feeling really tired.
I took out one of my old collections from my CD case. It was Kenny G’s best.
It's been months since I heard this album. The reason is I’m afraid of this type of music.
They pull out my true self. The weak, emotionally retarded self of mine. I hate him.
But something, I don’t know was different on that night that made me indulge in this mistake again. Maybe some other weakness of mine.
I opened one window and the cold, freezing wind like some long-awaiting predator rushed into my room, giving me a chill. But somehow I felt something quite nice about it.
Two of my tracks from this album are my favourite ones. One, “My heart will go on”
And two “forever in love”.
I selected them, closed my monitor, closed the light, and threw myself into the sofa.
The song started playing….
The world, my life, the darkness, happiness, pains, anger, tears, friends, success, failures, all .. all of them were there. It seemed they all were rushing to and fro within me to rearrange themselves like babies in the crèche and my mind like an old poor governess.
Jumping with her feeble weak feet and running behind them saying “Stop! Don’t run in this way you’ll break things again” ..
Yes, they break a lot of things for sure. They break the barriers, they break my deceptions.
The way I fool people, the way I laugh, the way I cover the grave with dried-out leaves
They break them all. Such fools they are, such babies. Why don’t they understand? Why don’t they ever grow up? So that they forget to run, to break things.
There is a good thing about the winter season, you don’t have to wipe your tears, they dry up by themselves.
- by wreetojyoti
